Changing Families Need Changing Models

Changing Families Need Changing Models

Tammy Stoner LCSW

If there is one truism today, it is that the family has changed, and it has changed dramatically. We are complicated. The image of 1955, complete with the nuclear family as portrayed in the old television show, Leave it to Beaver, just doesn’t exist. Not even close.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some of these nuclear families consisting of Mom, Dad and children born to the same Mom and Dad today, it’s just that they are in diminishing supply.

Today the very definition of what constitutes a family is much broader. In fact sometimes I wonder if we even know how to describe the “family”. There are the “old fashioned nuclear families” originating from days gone by, and there are single parent families, step families, blended families, adopted families, and on and on.

Today children are raised in a variety of constellations, and the clinical tools available to formulate assessments, has not kept up with the changing family. There is a shortage of treatment tools, and models to explore the changing family.

Speak to any marriage and family therapist, and they can tell you stories of men and women married 3, 4, 5,6, 7 times. Sometimes they aren’t married when they have children, they just have children from a partner. Hence we now have words such as “my baby’s daddy”, or “my baby’s mommy”, as a part of mainstream culture.

Each parent may have a child from a variety of partnerships; some were husband and wife, some not. It’s not easy describing the multitude of constellations, even in this article. It’s even more difficult tracking it in a treatment session.

Monica McCormick has made some wonderful contributions in exploring the genogram in families. She has helped provide treatment providers with a model to explore the family, and to map out these relationships through symbols such as x’s and dashes and circles and squares, all adding to the ease in reading these relationships.

Unfortunately the model is limited. It is one dimensional and flat. It is formulated on a piece of paper, and usually the 8 ½ x 11 standard sheet of paper just isn’t large enough to track the information. They are difficult relationships to remember for a therapist.

We are desperately in need of new models. Models that move beyond the flat, one dimensional model of the genogram. We need models that “bring to life” these relationships. We need models that can be shaped and moved, and remembered by treatment providers. We need models that give depth to treatment sessions.

I have originated a model applying teddy bears in sessions. I don’t claim to have all of the answers, but I do claim to have developed the fastest model available to clinicians today. It organizes teddy bears into the family system. It allows for a fluctuating family system, and it can be molded, sculpted and changed, as the family changes.

Teddy Bears have demonstrated remarkable results with clients in individual, family and group treatment sessions. I am not speaking about holding a teddy bear, and talking with it for comfort. That works, and there is certainly nothing new about that. After all, teddy bears are known to provide comfort to people.

I am speaking about a method that moves beyond providing comfort, and takes the clinical knowledge we have learned, and organizes it into a living, moving family system that generates fast results in sessions. I call the model the Teddy Bear Technique®. It’s called a technique, because that is what it is. It is a method that you can utilize to get fast results with people originating from a variety of family systems, and it applies teddy bears in it’s process.

The great feature of teddy bears applied in this model, is that they are appealing to everybody. They are one of the first objects an infant attaches to, and as such, they are natural objects for attachment. They can quickly reach the heart of the matter. It is such a shock to have a treatment provider introduce a teddy bear in a session, that that in and of itself creates an immediate shift in the session. Organize it into the family, and you will give it depth. You will also gain a powerful and dramatic assessment tool, that gives you fast results.

I invite you to learn more about this model, and it’s effectiveness with people of every age, race and socioeconomic group. I have organized the teachings into a total toolkit to provide you with rapid assessments and interventions. I invite you to visit my website at www.interactiveteddybears.com
Copyright © March 8 2007



About the Author
Tammy Stoner is a licensed clinical social worker and trained family therapist. She developed the Teddy Bear Technique® following the sudden and unexpected death of a spouse and discovered a very fast method of generating treatment results when exploring family systems. She has organized the model into a toolkit for health care professionals. She has authored a book called The Seven Minute Social Worker, and has published many articles. She has been featured on television and radio, and in newspapers throughout the United States.

Tammy Stoner LCSW
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Youth at Risk conference

Great turnout at the Youth at Risk Conference in Savannah this week. Noticed it was more geared towards school personnel then in previous years. Had quite a few attend the poster session conference.

Creating Change

I was thinking the other day about how to create change in our clients and one thing I have noticed is that the more we try to create it, the more things stay the same. It's almost as if our clients dig their heals in a little deeper and say "No, I want things to stay the same"

It's an interesting concept- People come to therapy with the notion, change me but don't make me do anything different. One idea to create change is to tell them to remain the same. After all, if people won't change when they want to change, perhaps they will create change when we tell them to remain the same.

In fact if we exaggerate the idea of staying exactly the same, perhaps we can create the desired result so
my tip for the day is to tell your clients to do exactly what they are doing!:))

In fact do even more of it. Don't do anything different. When we do this we are joining them on their level and may actually create the desired result.

Your ideas

I would love to hear your ideas of tips tools or techniques that work well assessing information and helping people create change in sessions.

Let's make it an interactive place for mental health professionals, school counselors or parents or anybody who wants to learn more about treating mental health problems.

Let's here from you.

Have you tried to apply teddy bears in your sessions?

signing up for email

Just a short note to let readers know that when you sign up for the free course on the front page for the Teddy Bear Technique® you will also be first to get sales and discounts only available to subscribers. Please add your name to the mailing list.

I want to find out more about the readers of this blog. What kind of work do you do? What attracted you to this site?
Would love to hear comments from readers.

Teddy Bear Therapy

Don't Miss This....

Introducing The Teddy Bear Technique® Toolkit

It's simple as 1,2,3....

Some people really do want to tell you what is wrong, they just don't know how. Isn't it time you give them a tool to help?

Teddybears are Great Tools for Healing- Isn't it time

Teddybears are great tools for healing

Teddy Bears are such natural methods of attachment for people that I am surprised they aren't used more for healing. I am busy promoting a model of teddy bears called the MeBear Family™ with a techique I licensed called the Teddy Bear Technique®. The model is effective when you want to learn

How to generate rapid assessments and interventions
How to save time and yet get all of the information you need
How to generate extraordinary fast breakthroughs
How to gather information and treat in the managed care environment when you just don't want to ask another question
How to find enough hours in the day tomeet with everybody who needs your help
How to get unstuck in knowing how to create change
How to generate rapid breakthroughs dealing with generational cycles of abuse and neglect
How to engage the quiet or introverted
How to apply a model that works with adults and with children.
How to make treatment fun
So those are some of the basics. I will be in Savannah at the Youth At Risk Conference on March 5th. More information can be found at www.TeddyBearTherapy.com